


While I breathe, I hope

by LucjaP



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Canon-Typical Violence, Crying, Death, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Magic, Protective Loki (Marvel), Sad, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28432077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucjaP/pseuds/LucjaP
Summary: You were sent on a mission with Loki as your partner but things didn’t go as planned.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel) & Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Reader, Tom Hiddleston/Loki/Reader
Kudos: 55





	While I breathe, I hope

Loki stared at Steve while the man was trying to explain the details of the upcoming mission. For everyone else it might look as if he was actually listening but the god’s attention was focused on you. It was going to be your very first time raiding a hydra base. You usually stayed in the quinjet but this one was big and Steve explained that your help would be very needed. Loki did not like that idea. Not because you weren’t capable, that wasn’t the case. You trained with Thor every Friday and managed to beat him up every time. You were almost as good with knives as Bucky and you even surprised Natasha with your hacking skills. You were more than capable. At least he hoped you were.

“If nobody has any questions I would suggest we end the meeting and meet in the hangar in 30 minutes” Captain America announced, looking around at his teammates. Loki knew Steven would go through the entire plan once more in the quinjet so he didn’t bother asking about the details. 

Loki waited until everyone else left the room, hoping he could talk to you about the mission. Or more specifically, talk you out of it. He stood up and opened the door for you. You gave him a grateful smile and walked down the hallway with Loki by your side. Usually you two would make fun of something Tony said during the meeting but this time you were really quiet. The trickster wasn’t sure how they should start the conversation.

“How are you feeling before this mission?” the god finally spoke

“Nervous,” you stated “but I’m glad we’re partners during this one. It eases my anxiety a bit.” yeah, maybe Loki should have listened to Steve this time

“Actually,” the brunette continued awkwardly “I don’t think you should go” Loki went straight to the point. They thought it was the right thing to say, no sugarcoating.

“Oh, it’s” you slowed down a bit but kept walking “If you want to switch partners that’s fine with me, you know I won-” 

“No, I think you shouldn’t take part in this mission at all,” Loki stated. You stopped in your tracks and looked at him with confusion. “I don’t believe you’re ready for something this big. You will only injure yourself. Or worse” You hoped your friend would be happy for you. You have wanted to take part in a mission like that since you joined the team two years ago and you were really excited for it. It hurt you when he said he didn’t want you there. Ok, he didn’t SAY he didn't want you there but you interpreted it that way. Sadness quickly turned into anger. 

“I hoped you would be happy about me being there,” you said and Loki could hear the disappointment in your voice “and I don’t care if you think of me as some secondary agent who you sometimes talk to.” Loki wanted to explain why he needed you to stay but he had a feeling he would only dig his grave deeper. “I’m going and if you despide my presence so much I will tell Steve to give me another partner.” you walked past him and headed to the gym to clear your mind and punch some bags. You probably shouldn’t do it right before the mission but who cared anyways.

Loki sat at the table in the kitchen and smacked his head. It wasn’t their intention to hurt your feelings! They were just trying to protect you, right? At least that’s what he told himself

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“That isn’t going as planned” Loki said as more agents started shooting at the two of you

“No shit Sherlock!” you rolled your eyes in annoyance. Loki tried to talk you out of this mission which resulted in a fight between you two.

“You should have stayed behind.” they announced and killed some men with a blast of energy. “You are useless here. I can do it alone” 

That was the last straw. 

“You won, happy?” you started walking back to the jet not even looking back at him. Loki knew you would find your way safely. He made sure there were no agents left behind who could hurt you. 

He was so focused on your safety he forgot about himself. You were out of his sight when something hit his head and everything went black.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
  
  
  
  
  


Loki opened his eyes and winced in pain. This guy hit his head pretty hard. He quickly noticed that their hands were handcuffed to the chair they were sitting on.  _ Stupid mortals _ , he thought,  _ no restrains can stop a god.  _ Loki tried to conjure a knife but nothing happened. Energy blast? Nothing. They then attempted to break free using their strength but nothing happened…..

“And what do we have here?” someone said, entering the room Loki was in “Isn’t that the god of lies himself?” the trickster rolled his eyes. He knew he would get out of this room sooner or later and kill this man. “Where are my manners? My name is agent Chris Walters and we are going to talk for a while.” the man stated and leaned on the mirror in front of the god.

“There is nothing you could do to me that will make me talk” Loki said, looking at the agent whose name he has already forgotten.

“I hoped you would say that” the man smirked and clicked one of the buttons on the wall. He pointed at the mirror to get Loki’s attention. When god’s eyes noticed who the person on the other side was, his heart stopped. He didn’t see his reflection this time “Besides, “ the agent continued “I have never said we will do anything to you” Loki didn’t let anyone in the room know but he was terrified. You weren’t supposed to be here. He saw you going back to the jet so what in the hell were you doing here?! But you were unconscious. Did they kidnap you? Did you come back for him?

“So you are going to show me how you torture somebody else?” Loki sassed “Oh yes, I’m already confessing!”

“Stop playing, Odinson. We all know how much you cherish their company” Walters continued “You see, we have been watching you and the avengers for a while now” the man took a step forward “and my people have noticed how close you two are. Now, where’s the data?” the agent asked

“I don’t know where it is,” the trickster said. At the same time you woke up confused and terrified, not knowing where they took you when something shocked you. You felt your heart beating painfully fast in your ribcage. Looking around you figured you were i some sort of interrogation, or torture, room. There was a mirror in front of you and you knew that someone was behind it. 

  
  


Walters signed and took a remote which was laying on the stool next to him in his hands and clicked a button. As he did it Loki heard a scream coming from the other side of the room. Your scream. 

You then tried to figure out what exactly happened to you and you noticed a small device on your chest. Your eyes looked with Loki’s but you had no idea he was there. 

“I don’t know where the data is!” Loki repeated and the agent hit the button again. You could feel the pain in your every muscle and you feared your heart would give up because of the electric shock you received. When it was over you tried to catch your breath and panted heavily. If your hands weren’t tied up to the chair you were sitting on you would collapse on the floor. 

“They have nothing to do with this and I don’t know who has the memory stick!” the god panicked. He knew the agent wouldn't believe him. It was almost as if he knew Loki didn't have it and was doing all this for his own entertainment. The trickster had to come up with a plan and they had to do it quickly. 

The man stared at him with cold eyes and clicked another button. You yelled and Loki felt tears gathering in his eyes. He struggled with the handcuffs but they wouldn’t break. 

You weren’t sure if it was just your imagination or if your vision went blurry. What you knew for sure was that your muscles were going to explode any second now. You couldn’t breathe properly anymore.  _ I’m going to die here _ , you thought. You felt something wet on your cheeks but couldn't remember when you started crying.

When the god noticed it he panicked and flexed his muscles as hard as he could to break the chains. But nothing was working. The god was helpless. The realisation hit him like a train. You were going to suffer, maybe die, because of him. And they could do nothing about it. A single tear escaped Loki's eye and he shook his head in denial.

“Stop it!” he begged

The agent put on a sinister smile and your muscles spasmed again. You didn’t make a sound this time. You weren’t able to do that anymore. There was an uncomfortable ringing in your ears and your limbs were tingling. It wasn’t a good sign.

“STOP IT” Loki cried “I WILL GET IT FOR YOU JUST STOP IT” he begged as more tears were falling down his face.

Your chest couldn’t stop burning and you were feeling weaker with every passing second. At some point your mind started to torture you as well because you could have sworn you heard Loki’s voice. You were never going to see him, were you? You would never tell him how much he meant to you. You would never be able to feel their lips on yours. You would never tell the trickster you loved him. Because that’s what it was, right? Love…. If only you could have realised it sooner… You were slowly losing your consciousness and this time you didn’t fight it.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Loki noticed you weren’t moving anymore he felt an unspeakable rage within him. It couldn't end like that. He was going to kill that whatever was his name agent, save you and get his head out of his ass and fucking confess his love to you. Exactly in that order. He prayed to the norns that this would work. If he couldn't break the chains he would break the chair. 

“Ugh,” the agent looked at your form with disgust “That went too quickly for my liking” That comment was the last straw for Loki. He felt so much power inside him he thought he would burst out. The green light filled the room breaking the chair, the window and Loki’s handcuffs. The trickster was surprised at this sudden outburst of power but they definitely didn’t mind. They conjured a dagger and threw it at the confused agent, tearing his artery in the process. The god didn’t even look at the dying man, he was focused only on you. 

He took the now broken chair and threw it on the mirror to shatter it completely. Small pieces of glass flew in every direction, injuring Loki as they cut his cheek. The trickster jumped to the other side not even noticing how some pieces wounded his arms and hands. They ran to you and gently took your face in their hands.

“Hey,” Loki called you, patting your cheek to wake you up “Open your eyes, love. It’s over. It’s ok now” 

Hearing someone’s voice you opened your eyes but your vision was still blurry  “Please get us out of here!” was all you said before losing your consciousness again. 

Loki quickly freed you out by breaking the chains you were in and picked you up. They kicked the door open and sprinted down the hall. Unfortunately, Loki’s outburst of power alarmed other hydra agents who were blocking the exit. The god was about to jump into action again when suddenly Hulk appeared killing the bad guys immediately. And even though Loki feared him, they were happy to see the green creature this time. The trickster wasn’t planning on staying in the same room with him so they left with you in their arms hoping they would find the quinjet and get you to safety. 

He noticed Iron Man and the Captain fighting some people. He was so relieved to see them.

“ANTHONY!” he shouted to get the billionaire's attention. Thanks to the norns Tony saw him.

“What happened?” he asked upon noticing your unconscious body.

“We- we split up a-and then they attacked us,” Loki mumbled “they hurt Y/N, we need to get them somewhere safe” 

Tony nodded and looked around “I have your back,” he said “The quinjet is not so far away and those damned agents are multiplying like fucking rabbits” Loki didn’t need to be told twice. He held your body closer to his and headed in the direction Tony pointed at. 

He got there very fast and gently laid you on the ground. No one else was there to help so Loki decided to patch you up themselves. Looking for any major injuries the god noticed a small device on your chest. He didn’t think what could happen when he took it out. Your body spasmed one more time and your heart stopped beating. But Loki didn’t know. They took you by your shoulders and shook gently to wake you up but there was no response. 

“You’re ok, “ he whispered “you’re safe. Wake up, please wake up” he stopped his movements and waited but nothing happened. And then he realised. You weren’t breathing. He panicked and shook you again, thinking it would help somehow “No, no, please don’t do this to me!” he cried “You can’t leave me! Ple- Please.. Wake up. I-I love you, please….” he was so coughed up in this moment he didn’t notice when Tony pulled him away from your body.

“JARVIS start resuscitation!” Tony commanded. A small robot attached itself to your chest and sent the first impulse. 

“No pulse detected” JARVIS announced

“Again!” Iron Man said. Loki couldn’t move. They just watched your lifeless body with hundreds of thoughts running through his mind. It was all his fault. The bot sent sent another impulse.

“No pulse detected”

“Dubble up the power and do it again, damnit!” Now Tony was panicking, too. Steven and Natasha were there too. The god had no idea when they got there. But did it really matter? You were dying and he could do nothing about it. The tears streamed down his face again when the bot repeated the sentence again.

“A-again, do it again” Tony was crying now, too. Loki couldn’t bear to see it. If you died he would lose his own will to live. You were his light, his happiness. The god hasn’t used his magic to heal people in so long but they had to at least try. They crawled to you and put one of his hands on your chest. The other one gently caressed your cheek. 

Tony stood up and took a step back to give Loki space. The green light slowly escaped his palms and embraced your body. The trickster hoped it would work. But the more power he used the weaker he felt. 

Suddenly the bot spoke again announcing that your heart started beating again. Loki exhaled heavily and almost collapsed from exhaustion. He looked up and realised that everyone was here. They all seemed to calm down after JARVIS said you were alive but they could still feel the tension in the air. 

You gasped loudly and Loki’s attention was on you again. You looked around you and noticed how everybody was standing over you not saying a word. Your eyes wandered to the left and met with Loki’s. He had a sad smile on his face which was stained with tears. The god embraced you tightly and kissed your head. You started to slowly remember what happened. 

“I’m so sorry” Loki whispered into your ear and you put your hands around him. He sounded different. Sad and hurt “I love you so much” he said. You pulled away and cupped his face. 

Tony figured out what was happening and motioned everyone to leave for a moment to give the two of you some space. 

“And I’m so sorry.” he continued “For what I said earlier. I-I wanted to protect you but it-” 

“I know, Loki” you interrupted him “I know you meant well” he could argue with you about it later but now the only thing that mattered was you being alive.

“I love you” the god repeated quietly. 

“I love you, too” you reassured him and leaned in to kiss him. Loki’s lips brushed yours until he finally gave in and pulled your body closer to his. You gasped and got so lost in the kiss you forgot about everything bad that has happened today. Loki gently bit your bottom lip as if he was asking you for more. You deepened the kiss and put your hands around his neck and in that moment everything was better.


End file.
